As She Looks Over The Edge
by The Witch is In
Summary: As she thinks about her problems and attempts suicide, he is out trying to help her. Who are they? Enjoy.


As she thinks about her problems and attempts suicide, he is out trying to help her. Who are they? Enjoy.

OOOOO

She took a bite of her favorite Easter sweet: yellow peeps. Discovered years ago from the muggle world by her father, she had loved the sugar-covered marshmallows since she was a child. Yellow was always the best color, in her opinion, because it was the color of the sun, and everyone in her family loved the color. Her boyfriend had found them for her.

She pulled herself up onto the banister of the astronomy tower so that she could sit and overlook the view. Hogwarts was always one of her favorite places. She picked up the yellow tulip next to her that her boyfriend had given her for the holiday and smelled it. Tulips were uncommon in the wizard world, and they were a very rare treat indeed.

She pondered over the pain she had endured the past few months. Two months ago, her father had tragically passed in an accident in potion-making. She had arranged a small funeral service in the lawn of her home attended by her aunt, her uncle, her best friend, and her boyfriend. The yard had been decorated with daisies, his favorite flower from its simplicity, and several antiques from her home that had survived the explosion after the potion accident.

Four months before, she had gotten pregnant from being raped in a muggle alley. She was too ashamed to tell anyone that she had been assaulted until she learned of the life inside her. Her boyfriend had been furious, thinking she had slept with another man, not allowing her to tell him the full story before he left. She had trusted him to allow her to speak, as usually he was very calm. She went to her father, who had been overjoyed at the thought of a grandchild, but horrified when she told him that a rapist had gotten her pregnant. He still fully supported her keeping the baby, though, and went with her to her boyfriend's house to talk to him. Her boyfriend was brokenhearted at the thought of her being raped, and he vowed to kill whoever had violated her. He begged for her forgiveness at his rampage, and she obliged. She fully understood why he had been angry, so she wasn't that affected by it.

However, she was still carrying some stranger's baby.

Her boyfriend had gone out to the muggle world every night since then, trying to find the man who had raped his girlfriend. She begged him to stop. She didn't care who it was; that man would be so underprivileged. He would never see his daughter (she liked to believe it was a girl) grow up. She loved this baby, but she was sad, also, that the child would never know her father. Her boyfriend would act as a father-figure, assuming they got married, but it would never be his child.

For the past week and a half, it had gotten more severe—he was out looking for the man, searching for him for days on end without a letter to his girlfriend. He went to find some muggle man that she could tell him nothing about. She had never seen his face. She only knew what he felt like; she only knew the pain. She didn't know what her boyfriend was looking for. She would much rather him be home talking to her, holding her, kissing her… but he was overprotective, which wasn't a bad thing, but she missed the nights relaxing at home.

Three days ago, though, so much had changed. She learned that she had miscarried, and she had no way of finding her boyfriend. She couldn't contact him. This was why she never wanted him to leave her to find some rapist. She didn't care if that man ever saw justice. Given, she would never want that to happen to any other girl, muggle or witch, but she needed her man, her comfort. Her father had died, and she needed some source of comfort. Her best friend tried to be around as much as she could, but she was also busy with her family and watching her newborn neice. No one knew about the miscarriage yet.

So, sitting on the balcony, she contemplated what to do. She didn't know where her boyfriend was. She didn't know what the man who had assaulted her was doing. He didn't know that he had had a child, nor did he care, as far as she was concerned. But everyone she knew would miss out on having another bundle of joy in this world. She could never give herself to her boyfriend if they got married. It was taken from her. But the worst part was that her father thought he was becoming a grandfather. He thought his little girl was going to get married, but now he would never get to walk her down the aisle. He really loved his daughter's boyfriend, even though they were both only seventeen. He believed that age was just a number, and though they were barely considered adults in the wizard world, they were responsible and really looked out for each other.

She ate another peep. The past three days had been the worst of her life. She hardly ate any real food, but she comforted herself with much sugar and sweets. She had no one to hold her. She had no idea when her boyfriend was coming back. The life that had been growing inside her was gone, and she felt like her life was gone, too. The baby never got to see the world. Had she not done enough to keep the baby alive? Was it her fault?

She looked out over the grounds of Hogwarts. It was dark now, and all the students had returned to their common rooms, except for two Slytherin fourth years making out by the lake. She looked away. They were lucky. No worries, no loneliness, just happiness.

Was there anything left for her in this world? She couldn't figure out what her responsibility was. What was the point of living if you had no life? She peered over to the lake again. The students had been caught and were being escorted back into the castle. The astronomy tower is rather high up, she thought. She pondered this thought and picked up the tulip again.

Slowly, she peeled off a petal. She tossed it over and into the wind. Watching as it fell to the ground, she peeled more off, one after the other, until there was only one petal left on the stem. She settled her feet on the outside edge of the banister. Placing the tulip in her mouth, she stood up, holding onto the banister with her hands. She looked down.

"What are you doing out here?" a male voice inquired behind her. She turned to look back at the light-colored, slender figure in the shadows. She reached up and took the flower from her mouth, grabbing back onto the banister quickly.

"Nothing that concerns you," she replied.

"Really?" He asked, "Because it looks to me as if you were going to take a leap of faith."

"Just go back to your dorm."

"Now, I couldn't just do that." He walked over to the banister and leaned over it, crossing his arms on it about five feet away from where she stood. "You're one of the most joyful, silly witches in the school. What would make you want to jump?"

"Why would you need to know? Everyone here hates you. It's not like I exactly trust you with my deepest, darkest secrets." Her long blonde hair blew in the wind, and she shivered. He offered her a hand. She shook her head. "This is my choice."

"Suit yourself." He put his hand back. "I just wouldn't take this route out if I were you."

"What do you mean?" She said harshly, looking down to the earth below.

"I just mean, it's not always the most successful way."

"And you know this…"

"I tried myself, from the manor, when I was ten years old." He pulled off his sweater and turned around to reveal a long, faded scar running from his shoulder blades to the small of his back. "Not always worth it."

"And what made you try?" She spat out.

"Depression, my father wasn't around much, the usual. I've learned to deal with it since then." He placed his sweater on her bare shoulders, as she was wearing only a blue tank top. She breathed in.

Looking down still, she said, "I bet the drop wasn't this far though."

"Well, you're right, but I _am_ the one who knows what that impact is like. It's like a thousand clubs smash into your body. Like falling onto spikes. You make the jump, and you're home free, right? No. You hear your body make contact with the ground, you feel the pain, writhe in it for what seems like hours, no one finds you because it's dark, and _then_ you're out cold. You might be lucky enough to die, though, if it's worth it. I wasn't."

"Well wouldn't this way be better than drinking some potion?" She sneered.

"I don't know, would it? You'd have to acquire such a potion first, and there aren't very many potions that can do that. The ingredients are very rare to find, so going and asking a teacher is out of the question, especially because Snape would know what you're up to eventually. And trying to brew it? You may as well spend the rest of your life trying until you die of natural causes, because that's how long it'll take you. Unless it blows up right in your face, because that's more likely than anything else."

She looked down again, saddened.

"Well?" he asked.

"That's how both my parents died—potion explosion."

"Oh."

"But still, they will never know what I did. If I jump."

"Won't they?" He started walking backwards toward the door, placing his hands in his pockets.

She shook her head, and she stayed exactly where she was.

"I guess I'll see you later, then," he said. She didn't budge. She waited to hear the door close.

She continued to look over the edge. The wind picked up and her hair was all over her face, and she had to close her eyes to prevent the wind from blowing in them. She stood there for what seemed like ages until the wind stopped. Opening her eyes again, she stopped breathing. Every second she waited, she seemed to get farther from the ground. But she knew she would chicken out if she didn't jump now. She let go and stepped away from the castle and into the air…

OOOOO

There was a white haze all around her. She tried to reach her hand out, but she couldn't very easily. Trying her very hardest, she successfully put her hand out in front of her. Her arm was dripping in blood. However, she couldn't feel any part of her body. Realizing she was lying down, she tried to stand. She couldn't do it on her own. She reached out and caught something—a tree branch—and pulled herself up to her feet. She had to remain holding onto the branch to stand.

She looked down toward her feet. Seeing herself covered in blood was an interesting sight, since she couldn't feel any part of her body. She took a step forward and let go of the tree branch. She could stand, miraculously! She started walking, feeling like she was watching herself from someone else's eyes. She stepped into some water, and immediately took a step back when she realized she could feel it. She regained the feeling in her foot and could no longer bear weight on it. She fell to the ground.

Laughter, laughter behind her. She turned and saw a blond little boy running around. Then she saw her boyfriend pick up the child and spin around in a circle. He kissed the boy on the forehead, and then the two of them turned to look at her, smiled, and waved. She closed her eyes.

OOOOO

"And tonight, a man caught for the rape of three teenage girls, John Smithson, has been sentenced to fifteen years in jail under numerous charges."

"Ha! Serves the bastard right!" The middle-aged British man said to the television set, which was announcing the news for the night.

"I couldn't even imagine if something horrible like that happened to our little Dudders," his wife said, frightened.

"Don't worry, that man is gone from our streets now. But all them magic folk have no idea what's going on in our world, I'll tell you that. They think they have the toughest bad guy around, well, look at that guy!" he said, gesturing to the man being escorted into the police vehicle on the television.

"Enough, Vernon." His wife said, shuddering at the thought of the 'm' word.

OOOOO

She opened her eyes and looked around again. The haze was gone. But now she was in an unfamiliar room. She heard a cry from across the room and determined that she was in St. Mungo's when she saw a healer rush to the person.

"Oh my gosh, you're awake!" She felt someone hug her awkwardly in her bed. She turned and it was her boyfriend. "I'm so sorry I left you."

"What happened?"

"You… you jumped… off the astronomy tower. That bastard didn't even bother to save you. He said he knew you were there, and he just left."

"He gave me the option. But how much can you expect from him?"

"Well, I gave him a piece of my mind when he was in here yesterday."

"Wait, how long have I been in here?"

"Three days, unconscious the whole time. I was here as soon as I heard the news. But I found the man! His name was John Smithson. He was taken to a muggle prison."

"Oh." She was not happy about this news, surprisingly. Not unhappy, but not happy, either. "I lost the baby."

"I know." He said. Tears started flowing out of his eyes. "I love you, you know that?"

She smiled at his words and nodded her head. "I know."

"I know you've had a horrible past couple months, but I had no idea it was this bad. I would have come back. Why didn't you contact me?"

"I couldn't. I didn't know where you were."

"I'm just so sorry." He kissed her hand and took her hand in his own. "I loved that child so much."

"What? Why? It wasn't your child."

"But it was your child. In the end it would have been our child. Our little daughter would have grown up living the most joy-filled life a girl could know."

"I think it was a boy."

"What? I thought you thought it was a girl."

"I did like to think that, but now I'm pretty sure it was a little boy. I had this sort of vision after the fall, and you were holding this little blond boy. He was so cute."

"I'll believe you," he said. He looked into her eyes and squeezed her hand. He reached into his pocket. "I love you so much, and even though you've been though the worst life possible in the past couple months, I believe you deserve so much more than that." He pulled a blue velvet box from his pocket. "I was going to save this for a more appropriate time, sitting by the lake at Hogwarts, with a nice picnic dinner, but I feel this gnawing inside me to do it now."

He got down on one knee. "Luna, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Neville, I will."


End file.
